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Post by JCL on Dec 24, 2005 19:40:48 GMT
gotta luv python! ;D
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Post by prady on Dec 26, 2005 1:17:06 GMT
your mother is a hamster
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Post by prady on Dec 26, 2005 1:17:45 GMT
brian is not coming out he had been a very very naughty boy
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Post by prady on Dec 26, 2005 1:18:48 GMT
welease wodga
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Post by prady on Dec 26, 2005 2:10:54 GMT
the arguement sketch
A man walks into an office.
Man: Good morning, I'd like to have an argument, please. Receptionist: Certainly, sir. Have you been here before? Man: No, this is my first time. Receptionist: I see, well we'll see who's free at the moment. Mr. Bakely's free, but he's a little bit concilliatory. No. Try Mr. Barnhart, room 12. Man: Thank you.
He enters room 12.
Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT? Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that... Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS! Man: What? Angry man: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS STUFFY-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!! Man: Yes, but I came here for an argument!! Angry man: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse! Man: Oh! Oh I see! Angry man: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door. Man: Oh...Sorry... Angry man: Not at all! Angry man: (under his breath) stupid git.
The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.
Man: Is this the right room for an argument? Other Man: (pause) I've told you once. Man: No you haven't! Other Man: Yes I have. Man: When? Other Man: Just now. Man: No you didn't! Other Man: Yes I did! Man: You didn't! Other Man: I did! Man: You didn't! Other Man: I'm telling you, I did! Man: You didn't! Other Man: (breaking into the developing argument) Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour? Man: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes. Other Man: Just the five minutes. Thank you. Anyway, I did. Man: You most certainly did not! Other Man: Now let's get one thing perfectly clear: I most definitely told you! Man: Oh no you didn't! Other Man: Oh yes I did! Man: Oh no you didn't! Other Man: Oh yes I did! Man: Oh no you didn't! Other Man: Oh yes I did! Man: Oh no you didn't! Other Man: Oh yes I did! Man: Oh no you didn't! Other Man: Oh yes I did! Man: Oh no you didn't! Other Man: Oh yes I did! Man: No you DIDN'T! Other Man: Oh yes I did! Man: No you DIDN'T! Other Man: Oh yes I did! Man: No you DIDN'T! Other Man: Oh yes I did! Man: Oh look, this isn't an argument!
(pause)
Other Man: Yes it is! Man: No it isn't!
(pause)
Man: It's just contradiction! Other Man: No it isn't! Man: It IS! Other Man: It is NOT! Man: You just contradicted me! Other Man: No I didn't! Man: You DID! Other Man: No no no! Man: You did just then! Other Man: Nonsense! Man: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!
(pause)
Other Man: No it isn't! Man: Yes it is! (pause) I came here for a good argument! Other Man: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument! Man: An argument isn't just contradiction. Other Man: Well! it CAN be! Man: No it can't! An argument is a connected series of statement intended to establish a proposition. Other Man: No it isn't! Man: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction. Other Man: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position! Man: Yes but it isn't just saying "no it isn't". Other Man: Yes it is! Man: No it isn't! Other Man: Yes it is! Man: No it isn't! Other Man: Yes it is! Man: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says. Other Man: It is NOT! Man: It is! Other Man: Not at all! Man: It is!
DING! (the arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.)
Other Man: Thank you, that's it. Man: (stunned) What?
Other Man: That's it. Good morning. Man: But I was just getting interested! Other Man: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up. Man: That was never five minutes!! Other Man: I'm afraid it was. Man: (leading on) No it wasn't.....
(pause)
Other Man: (dirty look) I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more. Man: WHAT?? Other Man: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes. Man: But that was never five minutes just now! (pause... the Other Man raises his eyebrows) Oh this is... This is ridiculous! Other Man: I told you... I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY! Man: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are. Other Man: Thank you. Man: (clears throat) Well... Other Man: Well WHAT? Man: That was never five minutes just now. Other Man: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid! Man: Well I just paid! Other Man: No you didn't! Man: I DID!!! Other Man: YOU didn't! Man: I DID!!! Other Man: YOU didn't! Man: I DID!!! Other Man: YOU didn't! Man: I DID!!! Other Man: YOU didn't! Man: (unable to talk straight he's so mad) I don't want to argue about it! Other Man: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay! Man: Ah HAH!! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!
Other Man: (pause) No you haven't! Man: Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid. Other Man: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
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Post by prady on Dec 26, 2005 2:11:40 GMT
maybe we should have an area where we all go for an arguement
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